Addiction to Possessiveness!

Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hands. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost. This always made me pause and reflect. In our attempts to discover and reinvent life, many have been tugged by this emotion of possessiveness sometime. And to add to it there are certain lessons and learnings in life, that demand conscious effort from our side to put them to practice. Difficult to internalize, but awareness always helps in defining our perspective.

Possessiveness either chokes or a more serious outcome would be branching out into other disturbing elements like embroilment thereby contributing in compounding the existing pressures. It is a pretty hard task to be pliable with possessiveness for a long time as it may give in for eruption of the bottled up grievances at an unguarded moment. When life presents many challenges the desire to control can seem natural. There is the illusion that if we control events, ourselves and others we will be successful and secure. Unfortunately the opposite is true. The tighter we grip, hold on, the more out of control we become. Especially in relationships where people feel vulnerable, emotions are high and a great deal is at stake, the wish to control arises. Possessiveness often intensifies.

Therefore according to Osho "Why be possessive? The possessiveness shows simply one thing - that you cannot trust existence. You have to arrange separate security for yourself, safety for yourself"